Self-Compassion: How to be Kind to Ourselves

Think about the last time a friend or family member was going through something difficult. How did you respond? How did you express compassion towards them? Maybe you comforted them, listened and validated their feelings, offered them kindness rather than judging them for their mistakes.

Self-compassion is really no different than having compassion towards others. Self-compassion involves treating yourself the way you would treat a loved one during a difficult time. Instead of judging and criticizing yourself for your actions, behaviors, or feelings, you accept the fact that you are human. You make mistakes, you fail, you experience loss, you disappoint yourself and other people. This is normal. This is the reality of being a human. Self-compassion is also easier said than done.

How can we practice self-compassion? How can we get into the habit of being kind to ourselves? Well, there are a few exercises that you can do at home to practice self-compassion.

• Mindfulness. Mindfulness is being non-judgmental of the here and now. We aren’t thinking about the past or the future, we are simply living in the moment and being present. For example, the next time you go for a walk, instead of thinking about past mistakes that you have made, try focusing on your current feelings, what you are doing and experiencing right this minute. What is around you? What does your body feel like while you walk? If your mind wanders, that’s okay! Remember, we are being kind and nonjudgmental to ourselves. Slowly guide yourself back to the present moment.
• Gratitude Journal. Once a day, in the morning or at night before bed, write down one thing that you were grateful for that day. It can even be something small. Some examples could include, “Today I made a tasty dinner”, “I got paid today”, “a stranger smiled at me while I was on a walk”, or even “I love my dog.”
• Thought Stopping. Thought stopping is an exercise that involves noticing when you say something negative to yourself, other people, or your surroundings, and stopping that negative thought. Then you replace that thought with a positive one. For example, instead of saying “today sucks. I give up”, you could say “today has been difficult, and I did the best I could.” There are so many ways to reword your inner dialogue!

Self-compassion exercises can be quick and simple. Remember, it might not happen right away, and it might not be easy. Self-compassion is a habit that needs to be formed!